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Cosmo Tip #455

menluda:

When he asks if you’re in the mood, look him straight in the eye for a moment and then say “Bitch, I might be.”

(via the-female-devil-of-seduction)

chokesoftly:

“We’re threatening. Unstoppable. Undefeatable. Dangerous. You can’t ignore us anymore. We’re too loud.” —Gerard Way.

(via fabulousgerardway)

high-on-hiddles:

daffodilsandgravestones:

2nd-dude:

deduction-to-seduction:

deduction-to-seduction:

hiddlesbatchlove:

deduction-to-seduction:

You’ve been playing with fire, mother. Prepare to get B U R N E D

I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 10000 YEARS

Update: My mum came home. It’s a good thing I did this in the bathroom because she nearly peed herself when she saw it. After she finished laughing she turned to me with this dead serious expression and whispered

This means war

and silently walked out of the room

Guys I’m scared shitless I think my mum is gonna kill me in my sleep

UPDATE: I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND MY COMPUTER BACKGROUND WAS CHANGED TO THIS

WITH A STICKY NOTE ON THE KEY BOARD THAT SAYS

“I am the oncoming storm”

HELP

omg hahaha, must reblog

Omfg

Can she be my mom? Dear god I laughed so hard I cried XD

(via fezturions)

joeywaggoner:

I didn’t get this joke until I was 16.

(Source: itsjusa, via another-mewling-quim)

paradoxes-andtheoxfordcomma:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

what part of the alphabet is the wettest?

H to O

fuck you and this joke man i spent like 5 minutes going “H I J K L M N O?” how are they wet

(via did-ifucking-stutter)

So I found this video…

(Source: youtube.com)